“Did you see anything?” “No, sir! I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again.” “Good!”

<

“What’s going on?” “Murder… You want some?”

“The horror… the horror…”

“Do you go out with friends?” “A boy’s best friend is his mother.”

“Monty, anything to add?” “Ummm… no.” “He’s not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!”

“They’re not aliens they’re spiders mutated by contaminated waste!” “That’s probably a more logical explanation!”

“Your boss is quite a card player, Mr. Kelly; how does he do it?” “He cheats.”

“I’m a Derek and Dereks don’t run!”

“What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”

“He was licking me!”