Has your life been lacking because you think there hasn’t been a movie made about a tainted water supply that turns men into monsters with raging erections and then causes them to have a hankering to crush women’s heads with random objects? Well, look no further. Your prayers have been answered. Plain and simple, this movie is f*cked.
Hockey is my favorite sport to watch, but it’s foray into film has been very limited. Hockey movie or not, Slap Shot is a classic. It’s obscene, it’s bloody, it’s tough and damned funny. People who love hockey, love this movie. Goon was made by people who love Slap Shot. I was hesitant going in because I thought it was just trying to be a carbon copy. Thankfully, I was wrong. It has all the same aspects that make Slap Shot great, but it very much stands up on its own merit. Red Army is a fascinating documentary about the Soviet hockey program during the Cold War. It focuses mainly on Viacheslav Fetisov and his teammates known The Russian Five as they struggle with the rigors of the hockey training, being away from their families and the political influences that made it almost impossible to leave the team. It’s a heavy subject matter told with a sense of humour. Miracle is a fact-based Disney film about the “Miracle On Ice” which took place at 1980 Olympic Winter Games in Lake Placid, NY. It follows Herb Brooks (Kurt Russell) as he develops a young squad of nobodies to be able to defeat the aforementioned Red Army team. Mystery, Alaska is another Disney hockey film, but it’s not based on fact. It’s a fantastical story about a small-town hockey team that gets the opportunity to play the New York Rangers in an outdoor exhibition game. It’s essentially Rocky on ice so you know how it’s going to end. At this time, I would usually list the titles that came close to missing the list, but sadly there hasn’t been enough hockey movies made and I’m not about to watch one about a hockey playing chimp. Also, I do not apologize for not seeing any of the Mighty Ducks movies. Maybe I’ll watch the first one some day, but I doubt I’ll have to update this list. I do plan on watching the Maurice Richard biopic, The Rocket as I’ve heard it’s quite exceptional.